In the 1880s Old American West, after befriending a little girl in a town built for him to rob, a legendary outlaw trains to take on a band of miscreants who don’t buy into his mystique, save the little girl, and for the first time in his life, become a real hero. Ever wonder what Blazing Saddles would look like if Mel Brooks wrote it in 2023? Here you have it.

With "Once Upon a Time in a Spaghetti Western, Desperado Cowboy Shoot-’Em-Up Moving Picture Cinematic Feature Film: The Novel" you'll be shown humor, romance, action, satire, comedy, hilarity, violence, and well this is starting to get a bit repetitive. You get the idea.

Don't believe me? Check out the reviews from some of the most infamous outlaws to ever live!

“More thrilling than a good old fashioned, family-friendly game of Russian Roulette!” - Billy the Kid

“Clementine can tag along with us anytime!” - Bonnie and Clyde

“I wish we had a story this good! The ending certainly makes us jealous.” - Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

“Hotter than the desert in July!” - Henry Newton Brown

“Funnier than a fart in church on a wooden pew bench!” - Sam Bass

“I gotta say, that author ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.” - Felipe Espinosa

“I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, this book got it comin' from every angle.” - Belle Starr

“That author sure is funny, but his elevator don't go all the way to the top floor, bless his heart.” - Hoodoo Brown

“I've got a Champagne appetite on a Kool-Aid budget, thank Heavens this book fits into the latter.” - Doc Holiday

“Well, butter my backside and call me a biscuit, this book is somethin' else!” - Jesse James

“That author is a few bricks shy of a load, I tell you what.” - Harry Alonzo Longabaugh

“A hopping ‘n’ hollering good yarn!” - John Wesley Hardin

“This'll crank your tractor!” - Bill Doolin

“This author ain't wrapped too tight.” - Etta Place

“This author sure is good, but the lights are on but ain't nobody close to bein’ home.” - Jim Miller

In the Old West, to last as an Outlaw is an accomplishment, and becoming a legend is rare. Enter one “Hammerin’” Hank “Haywood” Posey. Yes, he has two nicknames. This is a story of Hank’s final burning light as the Old Wild West’s most revered, feared, and respected outlaws ever to live. This is also a story of friendship, love, overcoming odds, and how you write the story to your destiny, your way. Furthermore, it’s a story about how young girls can have dreams of professions that aren’t designated for them, how those same little girls can be just as dangerous as grown-ass men, how horses can talk, how actions have consequences, what happens to your liver if all you drink is whiskey, and about how prostitutes have souls too. That last one is a real trendsetter for 1885, mind you.

But moreover, it’s a story about how nothing in this life, whether it be today or the late 1800s, can be done alone, despite how talented and strong you may perceive yourself to be. Asking for help is not a weakness. There’s a particular, resounding strength in realizing the power of numbers and support from the people you love and who love you. “It takes a village” is not just a time-old phrase about a support system for children, it’s a support system for human beings.

So, sit down, and grab a glass of your favorite drink. Maybe you’re a cigar lover, or, maybe it’s a big Ol’ mixing bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Maybe it’s a soy vanilla nut spiced latte with a dash of whip cream and a pinch of cinnamon, whatever it may be, and enjoy the tale of the most legendary (albeit, made up) outlaw the (fictional) Old Wild West has ever seen.

And please allow me to be the first to welcome you to the quaint, quiet, dusty little town of Rocky Glenn.